My Parents Think I’m a Child

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I came back to live with my parents when I finished Uni last year and I feel like I’m living in a time warp.  I know it’s kind of my parents to let me live with them while I save up a deposit for a house.  I’m grateful to them but they treat me like I’m still a child.  When I was at Uni I was able to come and go as I pleased with no one checking up on me but now feel I have to tell my parents everything because if I don’t tell them voluntarily they’ll ask intrusive questions.
Anonymous

Answer
You sound like someone who loves and appreciates their parents very much.  This is a situation I hear about often and it’s one in which it can be helpful to try to see the whole picture; from everyone’s point of view. It’s true that it’s incredibly frustrating, for someone who has become used to having independence and freedom, to suddenly be made to feel like a child again. It’s a wonderful and important experience to be able to fly the nest and no longer be accountable to anyone other than ourselves for our movements. It can feel exciting and slightly scary at the same time.
Parents feel concern for their children for as long as they live, but it’s part of their job to raise their children to be independent and able to cope with life on their own. However, when we are young we don’t always appreciate that letting go can be the most difficult part of parenthood. It’s the most natural thing in the world for parents to worry about their children. It’s also just as natural for adult children to want to be independent. I wonder if you’ve tried explaining your feelings to your parents. If you can have a calm, non- confrontational exchange of views it may help you all to understand each-other better and reach a compromise.

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